Herbert Von Karajan,
Berlin Philharmonic
Death in Venice, by Thomas Mann
I then reached into my small daypack and brought out Thomas Mann’s DEATH IN VENICE and placed it on the table. Anna sighed, “Oh, my, “Death In Venice.” Her passion intensified, as she asked me questions of my thoughts about the characters, and if I had seen the movie with Dirk Bogarde. Because I was only half finished with the book, she did not want to ruin the ending for me. Instead she focused on other Mann novels, that she recommended I read.
Thank you Thomas Mann for saving me. (Yes, it is smart to travel with good books). Anna continued to elaborate on the merits of Thomas Mann, enthusiastically talking about a novel called THE MAGIC MOUNTAIN, then switching to Goethe and his book entitled SORROWS OF A YOUNG WERTHER. She was enthralling to observe, this ice cold beauty that could get so fired up over things of the mind.
We had been there about an hour, when I noticed she was looking at her watch again. I could sense she was anxious and somewhat agitated.
“Anna, are you ok? Is something bothering you?” “Scott, I like your fine sensibilities. It is a privilege to be with you. And a pleasure.” In one affirming utterance she had made my sense of awkwardness and inadequacy vanish.
With almost no emotion she added. “What is bothering me is that my friend is late.” And then for several minutes she looked away and then checked her watch again. Then abruptly she interrupted me and said, “Scott, my friend is forty-five minutes late and I have tickets to a cabaret. It starts very soon, would you like to go?” “Why, yes, but what do I owe you for the ticket?” “Nonsense you are my guest.” This was the beginning of being “her guest” at many extraordinary events.
We had to move quickly as the curtain was in twenty minutes. We seemed like old pros navigating the ice this time, as we were in step, she taking my arm, and not falling once. “A little better than our first try,” I joked. We arrived about five minutes before the curtain, Anna explaining that tonight we would hear the songs of Kurt Weil. I told her I was not familiar with him. “Weil is one of our country’s greatest cabaret composers, before he passed away. The songs will all be in German, but I think you will still enjoy it.”
Enjoy I did! After the cabaret, she insisted I join her for a nightcap at one of her favorite haunts. A place not even noticeable from the street, almost speakeasy-like, but inside dimly lit and invitingly warm. We each had a cognac, and it was here that Anna opened up and told me about her life.
She talked about her two daughters “both beautiful, accomplished and about your age. They are my life today, so important to me, as I lost my husband four years ago.” Anna went on to say that his name was Franz and that he died in an avalanche skiing in Switzerland.
Anna expressed with both poignancy and joy that he had been a remarkable companion and father. He was a very successful business man, but he always had time for the family to travel and shared with her a great interest in all the arts. “He was a man of intellectual curiosity, strong and masculine. Hard to find,” Anna said nodding her head.
“And now being a single woman, this is very different.” She went on to say that her friend that she was to meet in the café earlier in the evening was a man that she had been dating quite seriously for eight months. However, she was getting fed up with him, as he had a roving eye. “He is a cheater, a middle aged playboy. I have not time for this type.” She said with contempt and resignation: “No one compares to my husband. I am best alone.” I felt inadequate to comfort her.
Then I told her my comparatively inconsequential woes and that meeting her was such a good thing, as I had such a miserable day. She asked why and I wanted to stay and work here, but was refused my work permit today, even though I had found a job at the zoo doing manual labor. When she inquired more about the position at the zoo and what manual labor meant, I explained “shoveling shit out of the cages.”
Anna burst out laughing and we toasted our cognac glasses. Then she said, “Scott, I think I might be able to help you. I realize it is so difficult getting a work permit in Germany even for a job such as that. But my husband and I were donors to the zoo, and I know people on their Board. Let me see what I can do.”
And so it was the mysterious Garboesque woman, that I had first spotted on a trolley car, would turn out being my savior in trying to get me work, but more importantly became an inspired mentor to me in all aspects of the arts.
Not only attending great performances in opera, ballet and theater, but also talking hours on end about music, literature and favorite artists. I credit my mother for planting the seed to broaden myself in all forms of the arts. The interest was there, no question. But Anna ignited my interest to a passion for the arts to what it is today.
I sensed that Anna’s husband had left her well off financially, as cost was never a consideration for her. And it was not just the very best of Munich we took part in, be it attending the opera, theater or dining at the best restaurants , such as Boettners or Grunwalder Einkehr, but we would go on out-of-town cultural binges. She would have her driver wisk us up the autobahn for the five hour drive to Berlin, to see as Anna would express it:
“Herbert von Karajan is like God conducting the Berlin Philharmonic’s Beethoven’s 9th.”
And to this day I have never been moved by such a classical music performance. Or we would fly to Vienna and not only see La Traviata at the world famous Vienna Opera House, but go the great museums like the Kunsthistorischus and the Albertina, and stroll the streets as Anna would Point out important buildings designed by Otto Wagner and those with the colorful Jugenstil architectural style.
It was amazing being with her. She was so deep and curious about everything. We grew very close and cared for each other in a very special way. Yes, she was twenty-seven years my senior, her age being forty-nine, but when we walked I liked feeling her next to me, as we would link arms.
I liked how it felt holding her hand, lightly kissing her cheek and warmly embracing each other when we would meet, or when we parted. I liked her clean smell of expensive soap.
However, never did we become intimate. I can honestly say it never occurred to me despite her beauty. My feelings for her were on a lofty platonic plane. Being physical would have been like an impure act and have complicated our relationship. It would have tarnished the shine of the cherished bond we shared.
No matter where I traveled in my trip around the world, I would feel her presence and keep her posted with letters and postcards. While I was in Istanbul, about ten months after seeing Anna last, I received an engraved invitation from her to attend a formal charity ball for the Munich Hallabrum Zoo. I did not attend. But I did enjoy the sweet irony of life with its surprising, serendipitous twists and turns: from rejected zoo shit shoveler to black tie fundraiser.
But demanding as life can be, we often get so involved and absorbed in our daily lives that we regrettably lose touch with those we love dearly. Such unfortunately was the case with Anna. Our correspondence stopped.
The final correspondence came some twenty years later telling the news of her death and the details of her funeral arrangements. It had unfortunately been sent to my old home address and did not reach me until it was too late.
I regretted I could not have attended her funeral to honor the memory of this great lady. This great Life Force.
Her impact on my life will always be part of me. Is this not what true immortality is all about? She had graced the world with her generosity of spirit and kindness to everything from zoos to “strangers” like me, her “trolley stalker.” She had graced the world with her extraordinary beauty, intellect, her luminescence.
The stars would not shine as bright this night …
~The End~